Saturday, September 13, 2014

THIRTEEN | Savor Your Season

This post has been on my heart for quite some time so I'm glad to be joining Bailey again for her Blogtember challenge!

Today's prompt:  Your current relationship status. If dating/married, give us a glimpse of your story! If single, share about this special season. 

Relationship status?: SINGLE

You see, I'm conflicted on the whole situation (or lack there of) of my relationship status. I love being single and independent but would very much love having someone to do fun with and share special moments with. However, in the same breath, I'm not the girl to sleep around or be with someone just because she's "lonely." Hence why I've been single my whole life. Yeah I'm sure I could've dated someone here or there. But that's just not me. And as I look back, none of those "love interests" honored who I really was. God was protecting my heart.

I keep hearing/reading/seeing the mantra: savor your season. And I'm trying so hard to savor my season. Some days are super easy + being carefree is at the forefront, taking days as they come. Other days it's hard + long, wondering "why me?" But I'm doing the best I can. This single season has been a long one. I know deep down in my heart of hearts there's someone out there for me. Whatever this waiting season is, there is something better coming. Whether it be tomorrow or in 5 years. I've seen friends go in and out of relationships. Clean breakups and some that were pretty ugly. Still in the back of my mind, leaving the "why am I still sitting here with no one that wants me?" questions. Singleness to me always meant unworthy, less-than, ugly, unwanted and all of those to so nice words in the dictionary. It felt so demeaning like there was something wrong with me. But I know there isn't. I am worth so much more than what those words listed next to "single" in the dictionary.

During this long, hard season I turned to Him for guidance. That has been one of the best decisions in my life. I honestly thought I could get through all of these "single struggles on my own. He showed me real fast that I couldn't get through them along. I am so thankful I haven't had to go through them alone. I'm slowly learning to pray boldly and I think He is putting something fierce on my heart- to pursue my passions. To savor this season. Because I know one day I'll be wishing I had savored these moments. 

I'm the girl who is always looking forward to what's coming next- the weekend, Thanksgiving/Christmas breaks, graduating college, marriage, babies, buying a house. This list is long. Always wanting more- a new purse, more clothes, the latest thing to "fit in" to society's mold. All of these items are materialistic. If you know me, you know I struggle with what things "should look like" I should have that significant other to come home to, I should have a big, open house with kids running through the house screaming with laughter, I should have the cutest decorations for my apartment. Things that have been desires for as long as I can remember. These are things that don't even matter. He matters first and foremost. Something I struggle with. All of these things I want and desire are going to appear one day in ways that I didn't think were imaginable possible. Ways I didn't even expect because He is in control, not me. "With God's power power working in us, He can do so much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine." Ephesians 3:20

He is using my season to learn + grow + take in every experience to the fullest extent. And I am thankful for that. 

Very thankful.

This post is real and raw. Today I'm owning it

2 comments :

  1. Ephesians 3:20 is my favourite verse! I repeat it to myself constantly as a reminder that even though it doesn't feel like God is doing anything in my life right now, He is working in ways that are absolutely incredible. When the time comes and everything "falls in to place" the details will be so intricate that only God could have pulled them off! :)

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  2. Great post! Life is nothing without its struggles but always be optimistic!
    xo,
    Amanda
    affordablebyamanda.blogspot.com

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